Comments for Kate Bowler

Comment on When Your Child is Diagnosed by Judith Dancy

Judith Dancy — Wed, 21 Jun 2023 11:19:36 +0000

In 2020, when my son was diagnosed with Stage 4 colorectal cancer I emailed Kate Bowler at Everything Happens podcast. Brian was 49, married to Anna for 25 years, full of life and just fulfilling his dream of owning his own business. I’d been listening to Kate since the podcast began, and from the first felt intimately involved in her journey, as I suppose most of her listeners do. I wanted her to know- or more precisely, I wanted everyone to know and to pray for Brian and Anna… and me. Harriet Putman replied very quickly to say Kate’s staff would pray at their weekly meetings, and we exchanged emails for the first several months of Brian’s treatment at Duke Hospital. Harriet’s kindness in continuing to let me know Brian was in their weekly prayers were part of the large community of friends which “settled” me in my feelings of helplessness. Brian’s scans were clean for a while, but he is now having chemo again, and the “not-knowing” is back again in the back of my mind. In 2021 Brian was interviewed on The Summit Podcast (from the Heroes Foundation), and said “if I were to die right now I’d have no regrets”. As his mother who certainly would have regrets if he dies before I do, I know he means it. I’ve watched him since his birth, it seems, set goals and surpass them. He has “lived life large”, and his tagline with me is, “Mom, it’s all good.” Karen’s words “Suffering is a lonely place” are the starting point, and her reminder of the compassion witnesses to our suffering bring us is precisely what I find not only in the podcasts, but also knowing the immediate comfort of being prayed for- and Brian being prayed for- by the Everything Happens staff. It’s all good, isn’t it- even when it isn’t?

Comment on The Luckiest Unlucky Person by Gail B Wynne

Gail B Wynne — Mon, 19 Jun 2023 03:28:59 +0000

Hi Kate,At the end of a recent podcast you asked people to tell funeral stories. Though no one fell into the grave at my father’s funeral it was pretty memorable. Sorry for the length but it was one long and crazy day.
The story of my father’s funeral actually begins nine years earlier in 2000 when my mother died. As we were planning her services the funeral director innocently asked “how many funeral cars did we need for the family.” Daddy’s reply “Funeral cars…why would we need funeral cars…we all have our own cars.” Forget that the church was 20 miles from our home and the cemetary down an interstate highway. But there was no changing his mind. We all drove our own cars to the church.
I guess this is as good a place as any to tell you a little about my father Henry Bellmon. He was raised on a farm in Oklahoma during the depression. First in his family to go to and graduate college then off to the Marines who sent him to Iwo Jima. Returning home he married a neighbor girl who he met on Sunday when she stopped to help him with his flat tire. They were engaged by Wednesday and soon set about growing their own farm and family. I am the middle of three daughters. But somewhere along the line he got interested in government and by the time I was 12 in 1963 we were all standing on the south steps of the Oklahoma capital as he was sworn in as Governor. Two terms in the US Senate and another as Governor in the late 1980’s and he had one wonderful career in public service. At his death the term statesman was used more often than politician.
So in September of 2009 when he died we returned to the same hometown funeral director. He was just ever so nervous about this one since it involved lying in state at the Oklahoma Capital followed by two funeral services in two towns 80 miles apart and the eventual burial 20 miles further down the road. When he asked the three of us about funeral cars we all laughed, really laughed and then apologized to Daddy and told the director we needed two.
On the day of the funeral the two cars arrived at my parents home at the farm. One was driven by a high school friend of mine whose mother was a close friend of my mothers. It’s a town of 600 so everyone is family. The eleven immediate family members divided into the two cars and we set off for the 80 mile ride down an interstate highway to the first service near Oklahoma City. About half way there the driver of the first car gets a call from the driver of the second car telling us to pull over. The second car had something wrong and they thought they could coast in behind us. So here we are 11 people piling into one car in the middle of the interstate heading to the funeral.
My sisters and I had spent summers in a car traveling the state campaigning so we know what happens when one girl, now women, gets the giggles. Multiply that by 11 with husbands and kids and my father’s last surviving sibling of the original 13 and you basically have a clown car on the way to a funeral attended by Governors, Congressmen, Senators and the press. A few blocks from the church we realized there would be TV and print media cameras outside the church so we kind of pulled it together.
Buckle up we are only half way through the events of the day.
We had planned the funeral in the same manner that Daddy had planned Mother’s funeral. We trace our Presbyterian roots all the way back to post reformation Scotland so of course we have funerals in a church. The minister was Daddy’s former press secretary and general council who had gone to seminary (interesting career mashup). There were also several speakers from the various parts of Daddy’s life and political career. It was a traditional Presbyterian worship service with grand organ music and wonderful vocalists.
It was all going according to plan until the minister passed out…cold. He did come to briefly and tell the next speaker to “just step over me and keep going”. Someone called an ambulance, all the doctors in the crowd came forward, and the speaker just kept going as instructed.  The minister was taken to the hospital by ambulance and the funeral continued. There was more confusion when a well-intended former Governor felt compelled to take over the service. We all just kept going following along with the bulletin like good Presbyterian children doing our best to keep things “decent and in order”.
I honestly don’t remember a lot of what was said after that point – even though I spoke. I do remember one line from Wilma Mankiller. She was the first woman Principal Chief of the Cherokee Nation. She and Daddy had worked together on many projects. She said that Daddy had taught her not to participate in “group think”. Perhaps that’s part of the reason they both accomplished so much for so many.
By sunset we were back to the farm and the community where Daddy and Mother grew up and returned to after their extraordinary public adventure. The people of this small town had lined the road from town to the cemetery with American flags and were all standing along the road to tell Daddy goodbye. The chills and tears still come all these years later as I write these words.
A small town boy who kept his feet firmly planted in the soil he loved as he met and worked with the world leaders of his time. Thank goodness he also had a great sense of humor.
Daddy had a great laugh so feel free to laugh and laugh.
I enjoy your podcast. You keep me company in my garden and on my walks. Take care.
Gail Bellmon Wynne

Comment on Life Worth Living by Fran Howell

Fran Howell — Sun, 11 Jun 2023 18:43:15 +0000

Great show! Ordering book now

Comment on Life Worth Living by Michelle Freret Prather

Michelle Freret Prather — Fri, 02 Jun 2023 12:25:34 +0000

Dr. Volf is truly brilliant. His writing addresses so many of the life questions about how to live well even when life isn’t what you thought you wanted. Living with life-altering chronic illness has taught me so much about asking better questions of myself. Dr. Volf’s writing pushes me to explore those questions. The part of the interview about the Wellness industry resonated with me. I have thought about this often prior to listening to Dr. Volf, and I wrote a blog post about it that explores that topic. https://www.livingwellwhenyourenot.com/blog/the-cure-for-wellness-coming-home-to-ourselves

Comment on A Blessing for Life After a Loss by Gay

Gay — Thu, 01 Jun 2023 00:02:31 +0000

My uncles recently died at age 95. My cousin (his daughter ) was with him during the hospice process. He had a good life and was a good man. Now, we celebrate his life. I’m so happy to have found your healing and supportive words and podcasts.

Comment on Life Worth Living by Elizabeth Brady

Elizabeth Brady — Wed, 31 May 2023 14:04:50 +0000

Thank you for another thought provoking podcast, this one with Dr. Volf. I only wish it lasted longer! After our son, Mack, died suddenly in 2012 I found myself in this exact situation, where our circumstances are seen as ‘losing at life’ and yet, and yet, there was more than feelings and circumstance. I looking forward to reading the book!

Comment on Life Worth Living by Laurie Granieri

Laurie Granieri — Tue, 30 May 2023 17:27:10 +0000

I’m so interested in your discussion of Primo Levi here, the idea that the traumatic past feels more present/real than the relatively “safe” present. I feel as if this relates to Kate’s (and my) central question: How, then, shall we live? How do we live with a traumatic past but avoid being defined by it? How do we stop expecting to trip on the banana peel or cease waiting for that other shoe to drop, to mix a few metaphors. I don’t believe, in fact, that past is ever past; it is intricately linked to our present. These things are fluid. And still: Lurking Joy ain’t a goal.

Comment on A Blessing for This Beautiful, Limited Day by Lyn Teleni

Lyn Teleni — Thu, 25 May 2023 22:40:32 +0000

Thanks for such a lovely blessing. I did not even need to read the poem, for the title itself just impacted my senses. But I did read for I love poetry and the heartfelt pull of my heart.
The blessing: of being reminded of the value of the beautiful limited day. Some people may want to be blessed with another day to live and enjoy life, some may just want to relish goodness out of a day, a day filled with promise. The poem also makes us realise that everything is limited. When there is pain, there will be an end to it, whether at the end of the day or another time. This applies also to the opposite of pain, but the realisation is in knowing that our days are ours to live, cherish knowing its fleetingness.
Thank you my sister. Stay blessed.

Comment on Clear Eyes, Full Hearts by JoLayne Morneau

JoLayne Morneau — Thu, 25 May 2023 18:02:49 +0000

Two comments:

1. This was a remarkable episode. I have my own childhood trauma and hearing this conversation was good for my soul. Something that was said that I can’t stop thinking about – and it’s been a good few days since I’ve heard the episode – is this, “Make space for me to not feel like I have to fight anymore. Give space for me to be soft.” The women in her life who give her space to be soft. They’re a safe space. This resonates. I have not read her book, as I didn’t know it existed until the podcast aired, but I plan to read it as I feel as though there will be more healing. Thank you for having this conversation with her.

2. Would you consider interviewing Matthew Paul Turner? I think he’s an amazing human with a really incredible story.

Comment on Bless the Nurses by Rose

Rose — Wed, 24 May 2023 06:53:23 +0000

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to the “Bless the Nurses” podcast episode. It was incredibly moving to hear Christie Watson’s perspective and stories from her experience as a nurse. Nursing is a profession that demands immense dedication, compassion, and resilience, and Christie’s insights truly highlight the invaluable role nurses play in healthcare.

In light of the discussions on the challenges nurses face, I believe that incorporating the Gibbs model of reflection could greatly benefit nursing professionals. The Gibbs model, which is explained in detail in the article “Gibbs Reflective Cycle” (https://productive.fish/blog/gibbs-reflective-cycle/), offers a structured framework for nurses to reflect on their experiences, emotions, and actions.